Something I had forgotten

It must have been sometime around graduation.  The three (were there only three of us?) of us are sitting around the glass table on Emaley's porch.  We sat on white plastic chairs, the kind that don't ever feel quite secure, and tend to wobble a little bit, especially when you tip  back (you're done for).  Mike tipped back anyway, taking his chances.  (of course, we were invincible).  The table was kind of dirty, from the stormy night before, with little bits of tree and plant stuck to the glass with a mixture of water and sap.  We sat, in the warm Sunday afternoon air.  We watched the river, which was high for a change, from the rainy night before.  The intricate gardens were in full bloom, and the sun was at the point in the sky where it seems perfect.  It tricks you into thinking it will never move, it will always stay there, stuck in the sky, half past three.  (but it always keeps moving).

The conversation was of mundane things.  People we knew, teachers we were glad to never have to know again.  Our conversation moved to drugs.  For a group of straight edge, honors students, illegal substances occupied more than its fair share of our conversations.  Our morbid curiosity turned to LSD (the most glamourous, yeah?).  The drug we all said we wanted to try, just so we could understand The Magical Mystery Tour.  But how to take it?

We called my mother. 

I turned on the speakerphone, and set the cellphone in the middle of the glass table.  We all lean in.  She, of course, prefaces her speech with a sincere apology, because she doesn't know very much.  (she says).  She seemed to be taking a walk back in time, telling one fact, and another one would surface, uncovered.  We were entranced by the time she got to the blotting paper.  "You soak it...you soak the paper" she said, almost as an instruction.  "then you slip it in your eye, like a contact."  We all lurch back.  "Like a contact?!"  It was too much.  We had heard enough.  

The egg man and the walrus weren't worth that.

Annikoneni

The old lady who lives in our hallway died last night.

I don't even know what to do.

what goes on in your heart, what goes on in your mind...

Lately, I've been feeling more and more grown-up.

Part of me is a little bit excited.

But really, I'm scared shitless.

2:14 AM

I should never stay up this late.  It gets late, but I still keep thinking.  I can't seem to turn my brain off.  And all of my thoughts are rubbish.

Oh, and I'll start writing here, I guess.